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Thanks to everyone who helped put it together, to those who performed, and to those who came to support their peers and the cause!
Below are the texts for a few of the pieces read and sang at the open mic. If yours is not up here, please feel free to post it!
-heather
The magazine Harper’s Weekly carried an item from the American Bar Association Journal declaring that few rapists are punished for their crime: only one in ten rapes is reported and one in eight of these ends in conviction. In a dialogue to demonstrate why most rape victims prefer not to press charges, the article asks us to imagine a robbery victim undergoing the same sort of cross examination that a rape victim does...
“Mr. Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the corner of First and Main?
“Yes.”
“Did you struggle with the robber?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“He was armed.”
“Then you made a conscious decision to comply with his demands rather than resist?”
“Yes.”
“Did you scream? Cry out?”
“No, I was afraid.”
“I see. Have you been held up before?”
“No.”
“Have you ever given money away?”
“Yes, of course.”
“And did you do so willingly?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Well, let’s put it like this, Mr. Smith. You’ve given money away in the past. In fact you have quite a reputation for philanthropy. How can we be sure you weren’t contriving to have your money taken by force?”
“Listen, if I wanted…”
“Never mind. What time did this holdup take place?”
“About 11 P.M.”
“You were out on the street at 11 P.M.? Doing what?”
“Just walking.”
“Just walking? You know that it’s dangerous being out on the street that late at night. Weren’t you aware that you could have been held up?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“What were you wearing?”
“Let’s see---a suit. Yes, a suit.”
“An expensive suit?”
“Well—yes. I’m a successful lawyer, you know.”
“In other words, Mr. Smith, you were walking around the street late at night in a suit that practically advertised the fact that you might be a good target for some easy money, isn’t that so? I mean, if we didn’t know better, Mr. Smith, we might even think that you were asking for this to happen mightn’t we?
What do you think? Was he asking for it? Is she asking for it?
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody to
Talk to your mama
Don't get smart with her
Have a heart to heart
With her just like you
Would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
Now when you go to her
Speak truthfully
Honest as you can be from your heart
You're in a situation
But you're losing patience
Take your time and look her in the eyes
When you just can't find the words you want
And it's hard to reach a point
Where you both can understand
Don't just tell the truth
But tell the whole truth
It'll make a better man out of you
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama
Don't get smart
But I have a heart to heart
And just like you would
Would with you daughter us
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
It doesn't matter if
She's wearing mini a skirt or business suit
Whether she's twenty-five or ninety-nine
Treat her the way your mama taught you too
She could be the queen of Sheba, she could be a school teacher
A homemaker or lawyer
I think it's good for your karma
Cause when you talk to her
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama
Don't get smart
But I have a heart to heart
And just like you would
Would with you daughter us
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
Now let's keep it real
Nothing in this world will ever exist without the opposite
There has to be a sun and a moon
A man and a woman
That's just the way it is
Humanity inside it
And everybody's fighting
How do we restore the peace
Mama Earth is hurting
When everybody's searching for that feminine energy
You gotta talk to her
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama (Watch your mouth, yeah yeah)
Don't get smart
But I have a heart to heart
And just like you would
Would with you daughter us
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama
Just like you fight for your sister
If you knew that someone dissed her
How you gonna care for your daughter
Turn around and talk bad about the mama
Say will you listen to your auntie
Never interupt while she speaks
Make your words sweet like candy
As if you were talking to your granny yeah
If you really loved them (say so)
If you really needed them (say so)
Love the way she thinks (say so)
You love the way she speaks (say so)
When you need some good conversation (say so)
Say so (say so)
If you want her in your life (say so)
You want her to be your wife (say so)
Tell her she's your best friend (say so) (alright)
You'll be that to the end (alright)(say so)
If you're thinking about leaving (say so)
If you wonder where she's going (say so)
If you need to breathe with her (say so)
You just want to be with her (say so)
If you love her hair (say so)
If you wanted her (say so)
Tell me if you really wanted her (say so)
You wanna smack it down (say so)
(You better not hit no woman, you done bumped yo' head)
Say so...
If you feel like loving (say so)
If you wanna feel the hugging (say so)
feminism n (1895) 1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests -- feminist n or adj -- feministic adj
Above, the dictionary definition of feminism -- the entire dictionary definition of feminism. It is quite straightforward and concise. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not ask for two forms of photo ID. It does not care what you look like. It does not care what color skin you have, or whether that skin is clear, or how much you weigh, or what you do with your hair. You can bite your nails, or you can get them done once a week. You can spend two hours on your makeup, or five minutes, or the time it takes to find a Chapstick without any lint sticking to it. You can rock a cord mini, or khakis, or a sari, and you can layer all three. The definition of feminism does not include a mandatory leg-hair check; wax on, wax off, whatever you want. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not mention a membership fee or a graduated tax or "…unless you got your phone turned off by mistake." Rockefellers, the homeless, bad credit, no credit, no problem. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not require a diploma or other proof of graduation. It is not reserved for those who teach women's studies classes, or to those who majored in women's studies, or to those who graduated from college, or to those who graduated from high school, or to those who graduated from Brownie to Girl Scout. It doesn't care if you went to Princeton or the school of hard knocks. You can have a PhD, or a GED, or a degree in mixology, or a library card, or all of the above, or none of the above. You don't have to write a twenty-page paper on Valerie Solanas's use of satire in The S.C.U.M. Manifesto, and if you do write it, you don't have to get better than a C-plus on it. You can really believe math is hard, or you can teach math. You don't have to take a test to get in. You don't have to speak English. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism is not an insurance policy; it doesn't exclude anyone based on age. It doesn't have a "you must be this tall to ride the ride" sign on it anywhere. It doesn't specify how you get from place to place, so whether you use or a walker or a stroller or a skateboard or a carpool, if you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not tell you how to vote or what to think. You can vote Republican or Libertarian or Socialist or "I like that guy's hair." You can bag voting entirely. You can believe whatever you like about child-care subsidies, drafting women, fiscal accountability, Anita Hill, environmental law, property taxes, Ann Coulter, interventionist politics, soft money, gay marriage, tort reform, decriminalization of marijuana, gun control, affirmative action, and why that pothole at the end of the street still isn't fixed. You can exist wherever on the choice continuum you feel comfortable. You can feel ambivalent about Hillary Clinton. You can like the ERA in theory, but dread getting drafted in practice. The definition does not stipulate any of that. The definition does not stipulate anything at all, except itself. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not judge your lifestyle. You like girls, you like boys, doesn't matter. You eat meat, you don't eat meat, you don't eat meat or dairy, you don't eat fast food, doesn't matter. You can get married, and you can change your name or keep the one your parents gave you, doesn't matter. You can have kids, you can stay home with them or not, you can hate kids, doesn't matter. You can stay a virgin or you can boink everyone in sight, doesn't matter. It's not in the definition. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
Yes. You are. You are a feminist. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist. Period. It's more complicated than that -- of course it is. And yet…it's exactly that simple. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference or your sense of humor or your fashion sense or your charitable donations, or what pronouns you use in official correspondence, or whether you think Andrea Dworkin is full of crap, or how often you read Bust or Ms. -- or, actually, whether you've got a vagina. In the end, it's not about that. It is about political, economic, and social equality of the sexes, and it is about claiming that definition on its own terms, instead of qualifying it because you don't want anyone to think that you don't shave your pits. It is about saying that you are a feminist and just letting the statement sit there, instead of feeling a compulsion to modify it immediately with "but not, you know, that kind of feminist" because you don't want to come off all Angry Girl. It is about understanding that liking Oprah and Chanel doesn't make you a "bad" feminist -- that only "liking" the wage gap makes you a "bad" feminist, because "bad" does not enter into the definition of feminism. It is about knowing that, if folks can't grab a dictionary and see for themselves that the entry for "feminism" doesn't say anything about hating men or chick flicks or any of that crap, it's their problem.
It is about knowing that a woman is the equal of a man in art, at work, and under the law, whether you say it out loud or not -- but for God's sake start saying it out loud already. You are a feminist.
I am a feminist too. Look it up.
September 30, 2003
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. And if they do, they have no case if they are raped while incapable of making a reasoned decision.
instead of that bullshit, how about:
if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
Below are the texts for a few of the pieces read and sang at the open mic. If yours is not up here, please feel free to post it!
-heather
The magazine Harper’s Weekly carried an item from the American Bar Association Journal declaring that few rapists are punished for their crime: only one in ten rapes is reported and one in eight of these ends in conviction. In a dialogue to demonstrate why most rape victims prefer not to press charges, the article asks us to imagine a robbery victim undergoing the same sort of cross examination that a rape victim does...
“Mr. Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the corner of First and Main?
“Yes.”
“Did you struggle with the robber?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“He was armed.”
“Then you made a conscious decision to comply with his demands rather than resist?”
“Yes.”
“Did you scream? Cry out?”
“No, I was afraid.”
“I see. Have you been held up before?”
“No.”
“Have you ever given money away?”
“Yes, of course.”
“And did you do so willingly?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Well, let’s put it like this, Mr. Smith. You’ve given money away in the past. In fact you have quite a reputation for philanthropy. How can we be sure you weren’t contriving to have your money taken by force?”
“Listen, if I wanted…”
“Never mind. What time did this holdup take place?”
“About 11 P.M.”
“You were out on the street at 11 P.M.? Doing what?”
“Just walking.”
“Just walking? You know that it’s dangerous being out on the street that late at night. Weren’t you aware that you could have been held up?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“What were you wearing?”
“Let’s see---a suit. Yes, a suit.”
“An expensive suit?”
“Well—yes. I’m a successful lawyer, you know.”
“In other words, Mr. Smith, you were walking around the street late at night in a suit that practically advertised the fact that you might be a good target for some easy money, isn’t that so? I mean, if we didn’t know better, Mr. Smith, we might even think that you were asking for this to happen mightn’t we?
What do you think? Was he asking for it? Is she asking for it?
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody to
Talk to your mama
Don't get smart with her
Have a heart to heart
With her just like you
Would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
Now when you go to her
Speak truthfully
Honest as you can be from your heart
You're in a situation
But you're losing patience
Take your time and look her in the eyes
When you just can't find the words you want
And it's hard to reach a point
Where you both can understand
Don't just tell the truth
But tell the whole truth
It'll make a better man out of you
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama
Don't get smart
But I have a heart to heart
And just like you would
Would with you daughter us
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
It doesn't matter if
She's wearing mini a skirt or business suit
Whether she's twenty-five or ninety-nine
Treat her the way your mama taught you too
She could be the queen of Sheba, she could be a school teacher
A homemaker or lawyer
I think it's good for your karma
Cause when you talk to her
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama
Don't get smart
But I have a heart to heart
And just like you would
Would with you daughter us
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
Now let's keep it real
Nothing in this world will ever exist without the opposite
There has to be a sun and a moon
A man and a woman
That's just the way it is
Humanity inside it
And everybody's fighting
How do we restore the peace
Mama Earth is hurting
When everybody's searching for that feminine energy
You gotta talk to her
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama (Watch your mouth, yeah yeah)
Don't get smart
But I have a heart to heart
And just like you would
Would with you daughter us
Cause everything you do or say
You got to live with everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sister
She's somebody's mama
When you talk to her talk to her
Like it was somebody else
Talk to your mama
Just like you fight for your sister
If you knew that someone dissed her
How you gonna care for your daughter
Turn around and talk bad about the mama
Say will you listen to your auntie
Never interupt while she speaks
Make your words sweet like candy
As if you were talking to your granny yeah
If you really loved them (say so)
If you really needed them (say so)
Love the way she thinks (say so)
You love the way she speaks (say so)
When you need some good conversation (say so)
Say so (say so)
If you want her in your life (say so)
You want her to be your wife (say so)
Tell her she's your best friend (say so) (alright)
You'll be that to the end (alright)(say so)
If you're thinking about leaving (say so)
If you wonder where she's going (say so)
If you need to breathe with her (say so)
You just want to be with her (say so)
If you love her hair (say so)
If you wanted her (say so)
Tell me if you really wanted her (say so)
You wanna smack it down (say so)
(You better not hit no woman, you done bumped yo' head)
Say so...
If you feel like loving (say so)
If you wanna feel the hugging (say so)
feminism n (1895) 1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests -- feminist n or adj -- feministic adj
Above, the dictionary definition of feminism -- the entire dictionary definition of feminism. It is quite straightforward and concise. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not ask for two forms of photo ID. It does not care what you look like. It does not care what color skin you have, or whether that skin is clear, or how much you weigh, or what you do with your hair. You can bite your nails, or you can get them done once a week. You can spend two hours on your makeup, or five minutes, or the time it takes to find a Chapstick without any lint sticking to it. You can rock a cord mini, or khakis, or a sari, and you can layer all three. The definition of feminism does not include a mandatory leg-hair check; wax on, wax off, whatever you want. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not mention a membership fee or a graduated tax or "…unless you got your phone turned off by mistake." Rockefellers, the homeless, bad credit, no credit, no problem. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not require a diploma or other proof of graduation. It is not reserved for those who teach women's studies classes, or to those who majored in women's studies, or to those who graduated from college, or to those who graduated from high school, or to those who graduated from Brownie to Girl Scout. It doesn't care if you went to Princeton or the school of hard knocks. You can have a PhD, or a GED, or a degree in mixology, or a library card, or all of the above, or none of the above. You don't have to write a twenty-page paper on Valerie Solanas's use of satire in The S.C.U.M. Manifesto, and if you do write it, you don't have to get better than a C-plus on it. You can really believe math is hard, or you can teach math. You don't have to take a test to get in. You don't have to speak English. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism is not an insurance policy; it doesn't exclude anyone based on age. It doesn't have a "you must be this tall to ride the ride" sign on it anywhere. It doesn't specify how you get from place to place, so whether you use or a walker or a stroller or a skateboard or a carpool, if you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not tell you how to vote or what to think. You can vote Republican or Libertarian or Socialist or "I like that guy's hair." You can bag voting entirely. You can believe whatever you like about child-care subsidies, drafting women, fiscal accountability, Anita Hill, environmental law, property taxes, Ann Coulter, interventionist politics, soft money, gay marriage, tort reform, decriminalization of marijuana, gun control, affirmative action, and why that pothole at the end of the street still isn't fixed. You can exist wherever on the choice continuum you feel comfortable. You can feel ambivalent about Hillary Clinton. You can like the ERA in theory, but dread getting drafted in practice. The definition does not stipulate any of that. The definition does not stipulate anything at all, except itself. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
The definition of feminism does not judge your lifestyle. You like girls, you like boys, doesn't matter. You eat meat, you don't eat meat, you don't eat meat or dairy, you don't eat fast food, doesn't matter. You can get married, and you can change your name or keep the one your parents gave you, doesn't matter. You can have kids, you can stay home with them or not, you can hate kids, doesn't matter. You can stay a virgin or you can boink everyone in sight, doesn't matter. It's not in the definition. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.
Yes, you are.
Yes. You are. You are a feminist. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist. Period. It's more complicated than that -- of course it is. And yet…it's exactly that simple. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference or your sense of humor or your fashion sense or your charitable donations, or what pronouns you use in official correspondence, or whether you think Andrea Dworkin is full of crap, or how often you read Bust or Ms. -- or, actually, whether you've got a vagina. In the end, it's not about that. It is about political, economic, and social equality of the sexes, and it is about claiming that definition on its own terms, instead of qualifying it because you don't want anyone to think that you don't shave your pits. It is about saying that you are a feminist and just letting the statement sit there, instead of feeling a compulsion to modify it immediately with "but not, you know, that kind of feminist" because you don't want to come off all Angry Girl. It is about understanding that liking Oprah and Chanel doesn't make you a "bad" feminist -- that only "liking" the wage gap makes you a "bad" feminist, because "bad" does not enter into the definition of feminism. It is about knowing that, if folks can't grab a dictionary and see for themselves that the entry for "feminism" doesn't say anything about hating men or chick flicks or any of that crap, it's their problem.
It is about knowing that a woman is the equal of a man in art, at work, and under the law, whether you say it out loud or not -- but for God's sake start saying it out loud already. You are a feminist.
I am a feminist too. Look it up.
September 30, 2003
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. And if they do, they have no case if they are raped while incapable of making a reasoned decision.
instead of that bullshit, how about:
if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.